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I guess I just feel like ranting right now for some reason. I think that I'm just a lonely and jelous bitch.

I’m rooming with two of my friends from high school and someone that we don’t really know. I don’t like our fourth roommate she is gross and rude, yet, while I want to try to talk to her about the problems my two friends keep saying that they’ll help and then turn tail on me.

I can’t lie and say that I’m not annoyed with my friends. I feel left out and unwanted; they’ve been best friends forever while my best friend is five hours away and I miss her terribly. I miss having someone that liked you as much as you liked them. I love my two roommates, but I can’t stand the fact that they leave me out of everything. I understand that they like one another more than they like me. I get it, but it is not fun. I am so sick of getting left out and feeling like this.It's just making me miss her more and more.

 I feel like they don’t care about me, even though I know that they do. I want to make more friends, but I can’t no matter how hard I try, which is fine. I’m going to college for work not for friends. I don’t care if I end up alone; fine, but don’t take your issues out on me when you’re not even willing to listen to mine. I’m sick of them for getting angry at me for no good reason.

I truly feel like they don’t care about me at all. I want my best friend back. I miss her so much right now. I miss her more than I miss my dog, which is saying more than a lot. I just want someone who can understand without judgement, who will listen to me and respect me, as I would for her. Who knows me better than even my own parents. Who can actually hold a conversation with me since my room mates seem to only know how to talk about one thing and everything goes back to it no matter how much I try to change the subject. I can’t even believe how hanging out with my two roommates makes me miss her so much. 

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September 2012
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